This is a question I have asked most of my friends from time to time.
How would you initially react, feel, and think if your child told you he/she was gay?
Honesty please, don’t feel you have to be a damned bleeding heart liberal here
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Does sign language have silent letters?
When coloured people shower, is that ethnic cleansing?
shock at first, then question my methods of raising him/her but ultimately i’d be fine with it. i think if you love your child you would ultimately be fine with it, a rash reaction is ok to start with.
I honestly don’t think I’d even bat an eyelid. Curiosity, but then most parents get that whenever their offspring begin to get more social.
N.B. We’ll see if I ever even have kids. Crossing fingers not here.
[This message has been edited by Archie (edited 02 April 2002).]
I think I’d probably feel a little sorry for them, knowing that society in general is not as tolerant towards homosexuals. But ultimately I think I’d be fine with it. It may mean slight adjustments in upbringing and a lot of positive re-enforcement, but I can think of a lot of other things that I’d care about more. Like if my kid developed a severe drug habit.
Olly
I think shock would be a most likely reaction. I think parents are always taken aback when they find things about their own offpsring that they didn’t know beforehand. A long conversation would probably ensue on all the aspects of it, i.e. are you ok with it? how are you coping socially? when did you decide? etc.
Purely from selfish reasons I’d be disappointed at not having grandchildren (from that child) and it might take a bit of getting used to, but luckily I don’t have any religious or social conditioning which condemns it.
It’s funny how we assume everyone to be heterosexual until they come out and say they are not. Even people who are liberal with their views, like myself, have preconceived ideas about people’s sexuality. That’s how well our biological and social views are instilled in us! Is it wrong to have those sorts of views though?
ben - “Purely from selfish reasons I’d be disappointed at not having grandchildren (from that child)”
why? if it was a girl, no problem at all (sperm bank, turkey baster…) harder for a guy i guess but there should be other options. personally i am all for gay adoption.
when only quite a small proportion of the population are (or at least only a small proportion say they are) attracted people of their own sex then it’s only natural to assume heterosexuality. although i suspect this is much more for social than biological reasons…
Firstly, I’d string him/her/it up from the old oak tree and then I’d whip him/her/it soundly.
Then I’d chop off his/her/its fingers and toes.
Finally I’d force him/her/it to recant whilst roasting him/her/it over an open fire.
What a needlessly controversial topic!
I think the percentage is said to be from 1 to 10%. But it’s all a numbers game with these sorts of statistics.
What is needless and what is needful when it comes to controversy?
I know HVD doesn’t want us to be too liberal (if that’s even possible) but honestly I wouldn’t care although at first I might be a bit shocked. Really, Ben, it’s just a matter of probabilities I think. Most people are heterosexual therefore you’re more likely to be right if you assume someone to be heterosexual until you know that they are gay. Just like most people are not criminals so they’re innocent until proven guilty. Not that I’m drawing an analogy that implies that gay people are guilty of anything. So I think it’s a matter of probabilities with a bit of social conditioning chucked in too.
Furthering Alex, it’s a game of probabilities based on bias social prejuces, which we should really aim to recognise in our daily lives.
[This message has been edited by Archie (edited 04 April 2002).]
I know Sam, and it troubles me that he would even joke about this matter. He is the prez of the Pink Triangle Club at his college. I guess he thought he would have a good laugh.
Cheers,
Jason
I wanted to bring this thread back from the brink of non-existence not only because it brings up an interesting question by HVD, but because it shows the responses from some old members who are long gone. Personally, I would have liked to gotten into a discussion or two with Archie. Reading some of the things he said makes me wish he were still an active member here.
To answer the question on my part, although I’m not a parent, I would probably feel crushed at first, and then try to figure out why, but finally accept it knowing that I can’t change anything anyway.
I would be okay with it. I am certainly not a total liberal, but this is one area where I don’t follow the “right” way of thinking.
I want my children to be able to choose what they want. If that is what they want to do, then I’m fine with it. They should be able to make these kind of choices themselves. My gene pool doesn’t have much to offer the world so I’m not concerned with keeping the family going. It would be just the same if they came home with a girl/boyfriend, whichever would be appropriate to being gay and I would look at their prospective choice in the same light. Are they going to treat my child well and do they really care for them? Obviously you still have all the high school crap (if this is in hs), but other than that, it would be the generic parental concerns.
I can give lip service today on my ultra-liberal views on the subject until my own son comes home and I find him making out with his new lover behind the Christmas tree at the holidays. I don’t actually think you would know how you’d feel until the moment arrives. My husband would never disown him, but would have serious issues that would last a lifetime. Tough question, but a good one.
S
I’d react by convincing them it was just a fad and that they were attracted to the notion of being gay due to the fact they felt something was lacking, that they weren’t special enough. Like those kids who fake disabilities (autism, don’t make me laugh!) to get more attention.
Little cretins, all of them. Not in my house.
More honestly, it depends on which kid. If it was a daughter I’d mind less. I cannot condone sodomy, I’m afraid.
Wow- I never knew autism was a “fake disability”!? That’s probably the stupidest things I’ve ever heard- I sincerely hope you’re kidding and if you are, I did LOL.
I’ve had relationships with other women and I can honestly say that I could go either way. Even in a heterosexual relationship you have to make sexual compatibility adjustments to please your partner- it’s about learning what they like and how they like it and what you like. I don’t think I’ve ever slept with a woman just to feel special any more than I’d do the same with a man. Sex is sex- doesn’t matter as long as it feels good and we’re all a little needy once in a while.
If my (future) kid wants to be gay it wouldn’t matter to me one bit- I wouldn’t want to hear the details of my child’s sex life in either case- yikes!!!
I wasn’t being serious when I said autism was a feigned disability. But I could fake it convincingly, I reckon. Whassisname in that movie faked it pretty well.
“That’s another one that guarantees an Oscar, playing a mental” (Kate Winslet, Extras)
I’m happy with how much attention this revived thread has recieved, but it’d be great to hear something from some more people… like Imp for example… or… Imp.
I’d tell my child to stop being gay, and if they refused heterosexuality I’d throw them out of my house and not let them back in until they went straight. Then I’d make them atone for trying to be gay in the first place.