With so many diverse personalities here there has to be a root question of why.
I think a person’s perspective on parents can give some ideas. What were your parents like, what would you have changed and do you love them or hate or other?
My Dad was strict but gentle, education was important but, love was paramount. I had three moms. Biological, step and inlaw. Bio mom was self centered and an addict plus more, bipolar definitely. But, she tried her best. Step mom is awesome, loving and strict. Mother inlaw was the coolest mother inlaw , all parents taught me even my suck ass father inlaw. You can learn from scum.
I think all in their own way instilled a love of learning and loyalty, plus so much more.
I forgot to answer my own question.
A parent is fallible, loving, strict, educator,inspires, patient and screws up because life is rough.
Being a parent means being the original source of someones life, the mother or father of someone. That can come about as something intended or unintended and, in the case of fathers, known or unknown, which does make a difference to the answer of the question. Essentially, everybody has a mother and, if you are lucky (although it depends in some cases), you also know your father.
Being a father, I know that my wife and I have been all you described above - and more of course. Everybody has various ways in which they can express their relationship to their children, so the sky’s the limit. What can it not be? Both good and bad examples of parenthood have been around as long as we have been progenitors, so I tend to see the role of the parent as the first step in introducing the society in which we live. We parents are obviously the result of our upbringing, but also of our views on morality and social cohesion. We, wittingly or not, shape the future for our children and it is theirs to follow our example, reject our bad example or follow a better one.
There is also a lot of bad we can introduce without realising it. Many children go to school with the contra-productive stories of their parents in mind, which can hinder their development from the start. There are prejudices which we pass on, reducing the ability of our children to take a new look at the world. We pass on our bad experiences, even if we have ultimately been responsible for them.
Curiously the good we can pass on is less someone knows or values, but what children feel when they are at home. I know that my son told me that he never had the same feeling with his (now estranged) wife as he had with us when he lived with us. Of course, a child has a different feeling living in a family than an adult who is starting a family. I felt the opposite with my wife in comparison with my family, which broke up soon after I left home. I remember trying to reach back into good experiences but found them ephemeral and just wisps of memories. My feeling when going home was for a long time a going back into that uneasy feeling that I had tried successfully to escape as soon as I was eighteen.
My parents have always tried to be good parents, but my own ideal was drawn from bad experiences, which I was desperate to avoid. The relationship to our son reveals that we must have done something right.
A parent is one who enables the flourishing of the child, based on what the circumstances demand.
To be a parent, one must love the child.
I beg to differ, there are parents who don’t … it is more true to say parents should love the child
What if a parent does not know love? This occurs more and more. A teen for instance. Religion or need can force a teen to be a parent before they know love.
I think care is the key word to parenthood. I think that’s what it grew out of, and that’s why it doesn’t ultimately matter if the parent is biological. I think care also precedes love, as it is unclear to us if all animal parents feel what we call love for their offspring, but we know that they care for their survival.
Let me rephrase -
A true parent […].
Same as a true friend, or partner.
The rest aren’t being one, and likely aren’t suited to it at the moment of shortcoming.
A true parent? A loving parent maybe worse than one emotionally detached. Sometimes too much harms worse than too little.
Fear disguised as love, is not love in it’s widest uninhibited sense.
Fear is one aspect of love, but only one.
I’ll present you with this:
My nephew went to park for his birthday, and his mother came and spent time with him.
After some time, my sister grew tired and needed rest - emotionally.
When she was about to leave, he became angry.
She went to give him a hug, and he pushed her away. [He felt if he didn’t let her hug him goodbye, she wouldn’t leave]
As she was leaving and quite some distance away, he walked in her direction. I said to him, ‘Mummy’s leaving. This is your chance to say goodbye. Do you want to say goodbye?’
He nodded to me. I lifted him up in my arms then shouted out my sister’s name down the street, she turned around and I gestured to wave. She began to wave goodbye to him. I said, ‘Mummy’s waving goodbye. She’ll miss you. You gonna’ wave back?’ - He did.
As soon as she was completely out of sight, I put him down. He began walking away from me in agitation. I followed behind him, only getting in sight when he was getting close to the roads, where I placed myself between him and road, thereby guiding him back towards to the centre of the park.
He stopped at a large tree, and stood behind it. I stopped on the other end of the tree, being out of his view. I said, ‘Mummy misses Erik. Does Erik miss Mummy?’.
No response.
'Mummy wants to be with Erik. She wishes she could be, but Mummy’s unwell. Erik wants to be with Mummy too, right?
It’s OK to be upset. Erik wants to be with Mummy, and Mummy wants to be with Erik - but Mummy’s unwell. That’s why Mummy can’t be with Erik right now.
Mummy loves you and misses you. She wishes she could be with you, but Mummy’s unwell - Mummy can’t be with you right now. Erik loves Mummy too, that is why Erik is upset.’
He began crying and repeated, ‘Erik wants to see Mummy’. He rushed off towards my mum and dad, I saw that he was safe, then I dropped to my knees and cried.
We all got in the car. Mum dropped Dad off at the train station, then we drove home. I sat next to Erik. I told him he was a beautiful boy and that everyone loved him. I repeated the names of everyone he knew, and told him they love him.
When we got home, he didn’t want to be alone and refused to go to his bed. Mum laid him down on the couch in the lounge room. He refused to be touched, and was still hysterical. He said was hurting - because of how exhausted he was. He wouldn’t accept medicine, so I held his arms down and my mum put it in his mouth.
He swallowed it.
I sat on the ground in front of the couch, and looked into his eyes and hummed gently. He fell asleep looking into my eyes.
The entire time through this experience, my mum was saying it was my fault that Erik was crying. That I did this to him. That I don’t know what I’m doing. That I’m hurting him.
I knew what I did was right. I was allowing my nephew to deal with his grief. My mother said he isn’t ready - he’s too young.
I said, ‘If he’s intelligent enough to internalize that pain, he’s intelligent enough to overcome it.’
It is my love, that makes me most vulnerable. Yet, it is my love, that justifies life. Therefore, I do what I can to minimize the pain, without compromising my love.
I convinced my mother to take him to a psychologist, and for her to go to a psychologist.
They are on the path to health, and I will continue to support them. But I do not need to be there any longer.
I’ve planted the seeds of health, now I can be on my way, and come back periodically to tend to the weeds, and to nurture the seeds, until their roots are strong, and they can tend to their own weeds, and give their own nurture, and plant their own seeds.
And so the path continues.
I have resolved that which would inhibit, the welfare of my innocent nephew. He is OK, and will be OK.
I am free to realize my potential. To flourish.
I would have to disagree, to be a parent the child does not need to be loved. Not sure where you got fear from my post. A parental figure just must parent. Love is a delicious gravy, it enhances the meat only.
In my experience, a parent is a person who eats too many pills, believes whatever the doctor says, steals from you, teaches you to lie and reverse mortgages everything they own so that when they die you’ll get nothing.
Alright, but, what would you do to be a parent Mr.R.?
To be a true parent [As opposed to one who gives the child a dose of adversity, along with the dose of potential], in the sense I described - To enable [As opposed to hinder] the flourishing [As opposed to survival only] of the child [As opposed to acting in the interest of the self]
The reason too much love would hurt, is if it is riddled with fear, hate, pain, adversity.
I know all too well about love riddled with pain.
I believe love is the meat of being a parent.
If the meat is corrupted or inhibited (C, R, I), the entire offering is undermined. One can’t flourish on corrupt meat.
(R, S & B) One can’t give to another, if one is drowning. Yet, to drown, is not one’s own doing. (P, A, L, & A)
Learning to, and being sincere in my love for others and myself, in the world we live in, is the hardest thing I’ve ever done. (Movement)
I nearly committed suicide because of it. Luckily for me, I built a patchwork blanket, comprised of the best I saw in everyone I met. I snuggled into it, and it stopped me from freezing.
We’re all innocent. All we can do is learn from the past and react accordingly.
Provide, and teach.
Well then, that is what a parent is to you, not what you experienced.
I didn’t even read the OP.
You wanna hear about my Dad? 'Bout my Mum?
Thought this forum would know them as well as their own parents by now. (The important parts, anyway) 
That’s probably true in some cases, though I’ve personally never seen good happy come from detached parents.