Interesting, but you don’t keep your commitment to your partner a secret, do you? I mean, most of the time when two people are a “couple” and everyone knows it, it’s assumed they have sex with each other and only each other. However, no one brings it up as a light conversation piece at the dinner table, so it seems that’s where our society draws the line.
That’s a tough decision for guys these days. It’s not just a matter of risking that you misread the signals but of possible jail time too. As a guy, I sometimes wonder if the best decision is to stay celibate. I don’t think it is, but I do wonder sometimes.
Hell no! You absolutely do not want to know what I’m into.
So. I’ve heard rumors that when people get married they stop having sex. Just rumors of course. So I mean if you assume the rumors are true and they’re not open about their sex life, then it’s still a secret. Especially if they lie to everyone and joke about never having sex when they actually do. I think that would be freaking hilarious, myself.
I bet you’re into really boring stuff… because everything about sex is boring. That’s why everybody on this website talks about stuff that’s boring. Do a search for the word boring. It’s bizarre how often they talk about it, really. It should be ILB.
We’ve just watched “Moonage Daydream”, about David Bowie.
Possibly more than anyone else DB challenged the boundaries of gender at a time following the 1960s where a more open discussion about sexuality had laid the ground for the sort of sexual expression that DB and others in his time were able to flourish.
BD hit the scene in 1972, when I was about 12, and we all seemed to realise that it was up to each person to freely express whatever was inside them.
On watching we felt that had DB hit the scene in 2022 shitfuckers like Peirs Morgan, Carlson Tucker and Jeremy Clarkson would have shut them down with their unique brand of hate and ridicule, all the while moaning that “You can’t say anything these days” whilst sharing a platform on GB News, and writing articles for The Sun and The Daily Mail.
_
Just because we are all sexual beings, doesn’t mean we have to ostensibly show it.
Some seem to need visual cues [a person emitting gagging-for-it vibes, for instance]… as if they’re the only types who are sexual, not thinking that other types reveal that side… in a non-pda manner.
…especially if driven underground by people who think that any display of affection … which will eventually include whatever you mean by “reveal” (perhaps where there was no “reveal” intended)… means you’re “gagging for it”. (PS …I never gag as a signal for anything good. Where is that coming from…you have a pattern of saying that? ILG?)
Maybe we should have a thread titled “This is why I’m single even though, given the opportunity, I’d Golden Rule you until we’re dead” (or something) that lists routinely disappointed standards & how y’ain’t effin budging on them. Amongst friends who are done & past the horsesh**.
The only thing that ought to be stigmatized is rape and child abuse, yet they sex is so cloaked in mystery and lack of openness that both practices are rife.
What is needed is more education about sex, and the only barrier is CONSENT.
I have no clear idea what you are inferring with all that ^^^, but replace “gagging for it” with “up for it” and my position should be much clearer.
Showing interest in someone and exhibiting “up for it” vibes, will certainly lead to two different outcomes… the latter, usually leading to a quick fling.
Adjective: gagging for it (not comparable) (UK, slang, idiomatic)
Having a strong desire for something; especially sex.
My “especially” (if it triggered you) was not about stigmatization or anything else in the OP. (Q: Why do you think the OP is a generational thing?)
I agree with you that sex shouldn’t be stigmatized & education is a good thing (if kids have trustworthy guardians), although I think there are other things to consider beyond mere consent.
Today nefarious elements in society thrive and are encouraged, whereas it should be abhorred.
Can obsessive desire for one person be classified as love or are we “in love” with that person?
Most of us know love can be a powerful emotion, some even call it madness and some like Shakespeare’s Sonnet 116 deifies it.
Plato finds it philosophically necessary in Phaedrus to treat love as a response to beauty.
“Dirty little secrets” I believe is demeaning and suggests the idea of condoning sexual immorality, which is dangerous and makes a mess of one’s life.
This is why I am afraid (terrified) to love a man. It feels obsessive. I want connection, but I connect weird. It feels like I imagine it would feel experimenting with heroin or meth, but worse, because heroin & meth are not people.
Nellie Cashman stayed single & was friends with a bunch of men. I would rather go that route than crash & burn again.
The kind of love God is… how does it play out in a sexual relationship? If he wills it, I will learn that. But maybe it can always only point to God, rather than imaging him. If so… “picture go fast” - Monk
The Song of Solomon reminds us that both marriage and the physical union that follows originate in God.
She
12 While the king was on his couch,
my nard gave forth its fragrance.
13 My beloved is to me a sachet of myrrh
that lies between my breasts.
14 My beloved is to me a cluster of henna blossoms
in the vineyards of Engedi.
He
15 Behold, you are beautiful, my love;
behold, you are beautiful;
your eyes are doves.
She
16 Behold, you are beautiful, my beloved, truly delightful.
Our couch is green;
17 the beams of our house are cedar;
our rafters are pine.
Solomon did not ask for longer life, wealth, or the lives of his enemies, but an “understanding heart”.
“Now King Solomon loved many foreign women along with the daughter of Pharaoh: Moabite, Ammonite, Edomite, Sidonian, and Hittite women, from the nations concerning which the Lord had said to the sons of Israel, “You shall not associate with them, nor shall they associate with you, for they will surely turn your heart away after their gods.” Solomon held fast to these in love. He had seven hundred wives, princesses, and three hundred concubines, and his wives turned his heart away. For when Solomon was old, his wives turned his heart away after other gods; and his heart was not wholly devoted to the Lord his God, as the heart of David his father had been. For Solomon went after Ashtoreth the goddess of the Sidonians and after Milcom the detestable idol of the Ammonites. Solomon did what was evil in the sight of the Lord, and did not follow the Lord fully, as David his father had done. Then Solomon built a high place for Chemosh the detestable idol of Moab, on the mountain which is east of Jerusalem, and for Molech the detestable idol of the sons of Ammon. Thus also he did for all his foreign wives, who burned incense and sacrificed to their gods. Now the Lord was angry with Solomon because his heart was turned away from the Lord, the God of Israel, who had appeared to him twice, and had commanded him concerning this thing, that he should not go after other gods; but he did not observe what the Lord had commanded. So the Lord said to Solomon, “Because you have done this, and you have not kept My covenant and My statutes, which I have commanded you, I will surely tear the kingdom from you, and will give it to your servant. Nevertheless I will not do it in your days for the sake of your father David, but I will tear it out of the hand of your son. However, I will not tear away all the kingdom, but I will give one tribe to your son for the sake of My servant David and for the sake of Jerusalem which I have chosen.”
What a philanderer Solomon was, but he did repent before he died and by inspiration he recorded the history of his wasted years with their lessons of warning and thus his lifework was not wholly lost.
Ecclesiastes 12:9-10
King James Version
9 And moreover, because the preacher was wise, he still taught the people knowledge; yea, he gave good heed, and sought out, and set in order many proverbs.
10 The preacher sought to find out acceptable words: and that which was written was upright, even words of truth.
It’s more about the detestable practices he succumbed to … the way those gods were worshipped. His affinity for women weakened him & enslaved him. He was able to call all else he tested pointless, but went beyond the point of no return with women. As they didn’t kick him (or all the other imperfect people) out of the Bible, I s’pose I should cut him some slack, but for me, he is a cautionary tale when it comes to in/of. The “catch the little foxes” of Song of Solomon should have been applied liberally. Again…learned the hard way, and hope I maintain sanity / better judgment to never have to relearn it again. If I ever bond again, it will be (God willing) with someone who already learned lessons I don’t want to repeat.
“Men are like sheep” others would say, and strong Samson’s servitude is a “poster” example of all brought low by being so enslaved. It of course applies equally to women who go with “The heart wants what the heart wants” & similar garbage. It makes us easy prey to utterly missing the point when we abandon reason. The impulses (neutral) shouldn’t be driving us, we should be directing them. We should be teaching our children impulse control, not just about sexual impulses. How in the world do we think it’s moral to teach them all the diverse ways to eff up sex by violating self=other, but immoral to teach them how to enjoy it in a healthy way focused on self=other? There’s a reason so many are fat and and fueling the abortion industry. We are entering end-stage (or have we already?) unless we turn back (is it too late?).
