Look up the legal definition of “sexual harassment” + how common it is to get slapped with charges/lawsuit. It comes down to whether or not the chick feels harassed or not. If you told that to a 20year old faust and they had a witness and a good lawyer, well your chances would be slim.
I hit on them in dark alleyways, with a crowbar.
lol
Cyrene -
A simple comment should go to jury? To jury?
The most absrd thing here is that you are actually promoting this nonsense. That you agree with it.
Let’s see - today I told a very hot twenty-three year old that she made me feel very hot.
I love the danger.
Actually Cyrene, and this is speaking from a Human Resources standpoint, most companies only view something as sexual harassment (unless they have a policy that allows no workplace dating) in one of two cases:
1.) That any aspect of the individual’s employment is stated or implied to be affected by the individual’s receptiveness.
2.) The individual who was uncomfortable with the flirting ask that the flirting cease and the individual doing the flirting did not acquiesce the request and continued to flirt.
I think that the same principle should be applied in ordinary life. One comment itself (unless the context of the comment is already illegal such as flirting with a child) should not warrant that someone be sued. It is impossible to know what level of receptiveness an individual will have unless you have said SOMETHING to them. Technically, one person can sue another for looking/staring at someone provided they feel threatened by the stare. That’s just stupid, if the person doesn’t ask you to stop staring at her then it’s open season for your eyeballs.
This is sickening Faust. Yes, if you tell a chick she has a “nice ass” and she feels harassed, then yes, IT SHOULD GO TO COURT. (if she wants) Its not ridiculous to support women’s rights to pursue LEGAL ACTION against people making unwanted sexual commentary.
Its not silly. You’re forgetting the fact that WOMEN ARE DISTURBED BY IT, A LOT.
90% of the women I know from 18-23 would feel disgust/creeped out/violated if Faust told them they had a “nice ass”. NO THEY SHOULDN’T HAVE to “just take it and rebuff him”, no if the women feels violated she SHOULD HAVE LEGAL OPTIONS. Period.
Its sexual harassment if some 60 year old man tells a 20 year old she’s hot if she’s disgusted/creeped and violated by it. Really it is and its self serving to suggest otherwise, and gross.
Really gross.
According to Canadian HUMAN RIGHTS COMISSION its criteria for sexual harassment include: “Making unwanted comments about your body” under canadian law and LIKELY American law women can/(SHOULD be able too as well) pursue legal options.
Human rights comissions have overwhelming flaws but on this account its very correct.
For example, ITS A HUMAN RIGHT IN ONTARIO to have freedom from discrimination based on sex in huge public circles which includes: “discrimination based on sex includes what is commonly referred to as sexual harassment or inappropriate comments and actions of a sexual nature”
So its absurd women can go to court OVER VIOLATIONS to one of their human rights, on the basis THAT YOU think its not a “big deal”? Too bad.
Thats a human right in huge parts of America, IT SHOULD BE. Just because you decide its not worth legally defending doesn’t mean you’re not full of shit.
Cyrene,
Please correct me if I’m wrong, but it is my honest opinion that you won some kind of frivolous sexual harassment lawsuit and a ton of money and are somehow trying to justify your windfall to yourself by creating the single most strict sexual harassment standards that I have ever heard of.
Did you really say earlier that a comment such as, “I think you’re intelligent,” could be and should be (if the girl feels that way) construed as sexual harassment? You know something, I have a fantastic idea Cyrene, which should help us avoid any sexual harassment taking place, let’s all as humans completely stop having any written, verbal or visual communication with one another whatsoever. That way nobody can possibly sexually harass another person.
I understand that there has to be a certain PCness to the way one goes about flirting with another person, so I could see where saying, “You’ve got a nice ass,” could be construed as sexual harassment. It seems to me, though, that you would have any comment be construed as sexual harassment, or even something as innocent as asking for someone’s phone number or something like that.
That’s just ridiculous!!! How can you ever hope for two people to get together and propogate the human race if every single person has to be afraid of making even the most innocent advance towards another person??? By what means could two consenting adults arrive at the conclusion that they wish to pursue a romantic relationship with one another if they cannot speak reasonably to each other without the possibility of getting sued?
My whole post is just largely based on my own opinion of the matter, so I’m sure I am letting my personal preferences come into play to some extent. I would not want to be hit on in a bookstore because it is a place that I go to with a set objective in mind and I wouldn’t want to be bothered.
Basically, I was just gauging my opinion based on what my perception of receptiveness of the girl being hit on would have for the person hitting on her. When it comes to hitting on someone though, next to the person you’re hitting on either being single or greatly unsatisfied with her relationship, confidence is the biggest thing that will determine your success. Therefore, if you’re confident making an approach in a bookstore and you think a girl will be receptive, go for it.
The whole concept of a romantic comedy or romance movie is generally based on something that does happen (or could happen) in real life, so sometimes real life can reflect what we see in the movies.
You have to understand that the major difference between a Meg Ryan/Tom Hanks plot to real life is that in the movie the hit as well as the relationship work out 1:1 times, but in real life, the ratio is not quite that high (obviously). I read some kind of study somewhere that the number one place that people meet that have ended up dating has been at work, and I believe that number two was through the Internet. Beyond that, I don’t know what the percentages are, but all of the remaining couples had to have met somewhere, right?
I’ve never been envolved or know anyone envolved in a “frivolous” lawsuit. No “you’re intelligent” isn’t sexual harassment, no not any comment can reasonably be said to constitute sexual harassment. Any SEXUAL COMMENT can be SEXUAL HARASSMENT whether the person making the comment thinks its innocent or not. People aren’t objects if they OBJECT to someone making sexual comments, “you have a nice ass” on the basis it disgusts or disturbs them, they should HAVE THE OPTION to pursue legal action.
The only “personal” agenda I have here is pointing out how assinine it is to think that flirting/sexual comments aren’t sexual harassment, MALES intuitively think that way. The point is whether or not 1. THE COMMENT remotely sexual and 2.If it disturbed the woman/man recieving it
You can babble about how it shouldn’t be disturbing but thats even more self serving. EASY SOLUTION: don’t sexually advance on a stranger when they don’t show INTEREST.
No I don’t think asking for a phone number is sexual harassment or any such absurd truly sex-neutral comment. If the person asked in an aggressive/pushy way maybe, or repeatedly.
Cyrene,
About the whole intelligent thing, I believe I misinterpreted your statement. You said that someone COULD take offense to that and potentially sue and I misread it to mean that you were actively promoting such actions.
You do mention whether or not somebody finds one thing or another disturbing and I still think that is a very poor standard. For example, a woman could compliment me on my watch and I could theoretically decide that I did’nt like the tone, or the way it was put or whatever and could attempt to sue the person. Then you have to talk about connotations and perceived connotations of statements, where someone can be saying something literally but a woman (or man) wants to turn it into a bullshit lawsuit so they decide to stretch it to make it a figurative (and sexual) thing.
You must admit even if neither you nor anyone that you know have been involved in one that frivolous sexual harassment lawsuits have happened. The reason that they happen is because just about any goddamn attorney will take them (especially if it is against a company) and 99/100 times an innocent company will settle just to avoid all of the goddamn negative press and it’s straight bullshit. The majority of the time this happens is because it’s some goddamn single welfare mother of three and all three have different fathers (two of whom are in jail while the other is unemployed and living with his mother) so she can’t collect any child support and what is a poor innocent piece of street trash to do but sue a perfectly honest company?
Like I said, I’m all for political correctness when it comes to flirting and anything related to flirting, but at the same time, some people simply do not flirt at that level. Personally, even if there are sexually-laced words like, “You have a nice ass,” while I may not find it appropriate, this isn’t fucking grade school so quit responding by first running to the principal’s office. It’s adult time here on the playground so if you have a problem with something someone is saying, tell them that and sue if they continue, but if you don’t tell the person flirting with you that you are uncomfortable with the flirting before suing or running off to their boss or whatever, then you just need to fuck off with your ridiculous lawsuit or complaint. I mean, shit, if you can’t handle something someone is saying to you and did not give any indication that you had a problem with it and your first reaction is to run off and tell someone, then you need to grow the fuck up.
Cyrene, your attitude is the reason that we need tort reform, badly in this country.
sigh
any sexual* comment can be sexual harassment if the reciever TAKES it that way.
FOR THE RECORD, I think that someone saying “you have pretty eyes” is OKAY, assuming you were polite and stopped if asked, I think its absurd to take to jury/court. AS long AS there was no sexual implication.
SAYING “you have a nice ass” is sexual harassment, women aren’t immature to decide to go to the law, like your example in the principle case.
Saying “you make me hot” is sexual harassment.
ANY comment which can REASONABLY be CONSTRUED as SEXUAL can be SEXUAL HARASSMENT. Any sexual comment that disturbs a woman can rightfully be the basis of sexual harassment charges/lawsuit
To suggest otherwise is an issue of AGENDA. Half the comments I make towards woman could be rightfully construed as sexual harassment, because of that i’m not going to deny what I say is unacceptable.
FOR EXAMPLE: When Magjs added me to msn I made numerous comments on her age-defying looks and supersoft skin. The ONLY variable DETERMINING whether what I said was sexual harassment or not is WHETHER OR NOT SHE FELT HARASSED.
What I said isn’t acceptable just because I THINK IT IS, its acceptable only if she’s not harassed. IRL she WOULD have been. If I told her that face to face she should have the option to legally pursue me or anyone else. Period.
I don’t commonly say “you have a nice ass” but I commonly flirt, and if some woman is harassed by it they should have legal options.
3000 male posters can disagree and 3000 male posters would be wrong.
Its just absurd. Sexual harassment doesn’t need to be blatant to be harassment. Other considerations come into play. Whats not sexual harassment from ONE MAN, can be FROM ANOTHER.
Its not just how obnoxious the statement is, if a low value mate is making sexual comments (old or deformed) maybe just maybe it disturbs women MORE because where female psychology was shaped SUCH ATTENTION usually predicted BAD RESULTS for her. That an example.
Female psychology was shaped in hunter-gatherer societies where flirting routinely leads to action, if females get disturbed from people forcing sexual comments on them outside their approval , MAYBE just MAYBE its something they don’t have 100% control over.
Like if someone slaps me in the face I feel rage, the disgust/violation women feel is no less innate or instinctual, no more controllable. Forced sexual attention DISTURBS WOMEN BECAUSE OF THEIR UNIQUE EVOLUTIONARY HISTORY.
On that basis forced sexual attention DISTURBS them. If MEN only had enough semen to produce 1 child a year and women could produce many, and women had x2 the strength of men, MEN WOULD BE HORRIFIED at forced attention/commentary.
Women’s minds have been shaped by a evolutionary history of being able to only have a child per year AND routinely having the freedom to choose mates STOLEN from them. It doesn’t take a genius to realize why FLIRTING or FORCED commentary can come across as negative harassment, BECAUSE IT HARASSES THEM. PERIOD.
Females place a huge value on CONTROLLING their sexuality, when you FORCE SEXUAL INTEREST and she thinks your a SHITTY MATE, it should be VERY DISTURBING to them, AND IT IS.
Really, if men’s minds were shaped by the same evolutionary concerns you guys wouldn’t dismiss “you have a nice ass” as flirting. Its perverted harassment, ESPECIALLY coming from someone DOUBLE your age. Thats usually DISTURBING. (minus a woman’s RETURN OF SENTIMENT.)
This is idiotic and gross.
Really, hit up darwinian psychology 101 and tell me it doesn’t sicken women to be hit on by people they think are gross. Think of finding out your wife cheated on you with another man (men have adaptations to avoid that) that creates EMOTIONAL TURMOIL, for the SAME reason as forcing sexual commentary on women CAN, both RAPE reproductive fitness, or predicts STRONGLY in THAT direction.
I know at least 6 women who came home one day visibly shaken or enraged over sexual harassment, over what men here have labeled irrelevant. Over “you have a nice ass” or something similiar. Obviously women as a group don’t agree with people like Faust.
If Faust told a 22 year old she had a nice ass, if she wants to see him legally FUCKED over it she should be able. The same applies to me.