Skyrim: kicking dragon ass

I think we should change this thread to, talk about a game you like.

With that in mind I am going to discuss Assassins Creed 2 now I’ve played it for 3 weeks.

It’s great it addresses all the flaws of 1 although that was a damn fine game, and brings in so many new elements. For one there’s money now, and although it’s not a massive part of the game it does matter. Now you have a reason more than honour to do what you do well. It’s set in Renaissance Italy, it has a great historical element that really involves you in the game, and it’s a little freer with the form than AC1.

Questions though why is lucy 22.5% more attractive than in the first game, her clothing is less dowdy, she has much tighter buns, and her breasts are more interesting. And that brings me on to the element in this game where sex and relationships are involved. It’s interesting to me that we are now focusing on the Italian lethario aspect, sure it appeals to the teen market. I’m not sure I care that much but then the graphics are sumptuous enough that you notice the difference from the first game.

Anyway will bring more to the fore later, but it is a great game and the new database aspect brings the history alive and makes you part of the renaissance. Whether it’s 100% correct or not, who cares, it’s close enough that you are kept wanting more history and that’s what makes a game, maintaining interest, graphics and sound are nice but when you’re involved then it is a special game. There are so many plot elements even the average tin foil hat wearing basement dweller will love the fight between Assassins and Templars. It’s complex involved and would you Adam and Eve it: revealing a lot of new story. So few games really grab you. I think that is the secret of it’s success it grabs you. Roll on Assassins Creed 35. The series just gets better and better.

Mario Kart Wii (Contains GamePlay Tips/Spoilers)

Players: Single/Multi

Controller: Wii Remote, Wii Steering Wheel (Optional)

The Game:

It has been over fifteen years since the first incarnation of Mario Kart for the 16-bit Super Nintendo Entertainment System, and unlike many franchises which have undergone significant changes over the years, if you played Mario Kart for the Super Nintendo you will understand Mario Kart for the Wii.

The game is, first and foremost, geared towards kids (both adult and youth) so the general racing system is fundamentally simple. Unlike the majority of racing games, you will not have to worry about Kart upgrades, (though there are multiple Karts and Bikes to begin with, and others to be Unlocked, all with different stats and advantages) pitstops or crashes that completely debilitate you for the entire race. It is for this reason that this game is not for the racing purist, but is an easily accessible game to those who are either new to racing, or just want to have some fun.

The game features tracks that will make newcomers and players of previous Mario Kart incarnations equally happy as they seem to pretty evenly split new tracks and tracks from previous versions of the game.

The game features eight different Cups, all with tracks of varying difficulty, (Mushroom Cup, for example, features tracks where you essentially drive around in a large circle while Special Cup features the most treacherous and demanding version of Rainbow Road ever to grace the Mario Kart franchise) and these cups are playable in 50cc (Karts Only), 100cc (Bikes Only) and 150cc (Bikes and Karts) modes.

The 100cc Cups play reasonably difficult as mistakes (which include such things as falling into lava and losing three seconds being pulled out, not to mention the time getting back to speed) will be punished by a significantly improved AI that will not make such unforced mistakes. There will still be forced stops along the way in the form of Red, “Tracking,” Shells designed to seek and destroy the racer immediately in front of you, Blue Shells, which fly quickly through the air and are designed to target the race leader, and Cannons where a racer in the back of the pack will turn into a high-speed cannon often crashing into and devastating the racers in front of him/her.

The 150cc Cups are absolutely ridiculous and play as much on luck as anything else. The AI system is frequently unbeatable as it seems to be based on both your position in the race as well as your points position overall. It may seem strange, but it is often to the players advantage to, “Sandbag,” by deliberately not winning all three of the first three races firing back for a first-place finish in the final race. As with the other Cups, the power-ups that you will receive if you are in the front of the pack are often useless…unless you know how to use them. NOTE: You should win at least two of the first three races and place well in the one that you do not win.

For one thing, many people consider the Banana-Peel useless for anything except making one of the racers behind you slip, and the Green Shell randomly effective, at best. The defensive-minded player, however, will hang on to such power-ups as they can be used to deflect a Red, “Tracking” Shell that the racer behind you launches if the defensive-minded player fires them off at the penultimate moment. There are also power-ups of Triple-Banana Peels, and Triple Green/Red Shells which should immediately be allowed to go behind the player and will generally deflect on-coming Red and Green shells without the player actually having to do anything.

These pointers often will not matter because the Blue Shell, which automatically debilitates the racer in first-place, a Bomb, many of the obstructions/obstacles built into the track, and getting hit by a Cannon-Racer will automatically divest you of any power-ups you are presently holding as well as spinning you out and causing you to have to work your way up to speed.

The AI system at 150cc is both ridiculous and unfair. In addition to the fact that the AI-Controlled racers will race to near-perfection, you will often get hit by a Blue Shell (There is no way to prevent this!) on the Final Lap and within sight of the finish line dropping you from first to an occasionally near-last finish.

It also seems that Nintendo is not in favor of the free market system or the inherent advantages of being in the, “Front of the Pack,” as the Power-Ups you get significantly improve the further behind you get in the race. For example, if you are in-between 4th-7th Place of all the racers, you will occasionally get Triple-Mushrooms (Three speed boosts that you can fire off when appropriate, often on a straight-away or to cut through grass or other obstacles) and you will also get Triple Red, “Tracking,” Shells, Lightning Bolts that can be used to make any racer ahead of your position smaller,(and slower) Bombs which will disable nearby Racers (but are horribly inaccurate) and the deadly Blue Turtle shell which devastates the front-runner. If you are in 8th Place (of 12) or worse, while Triple-Mushrooms are a common power-up, you will occasionally receive a Cannon which turns your car into a flaming cannon for five seconds, zips you to the middle or front of the pack (assuming you are reasonably within striking distance) and debilitates any other Racer that has the misfortune of being in the middle of the road along the way. (Stay in your lane, buddy!) You will also occasionally get an extended version of the Lightning Power-Up which shrinks the other Racers making you significantly faster and enabling you to catch up. A Power-Mushroom will also make you huge enabling you to crush other racers and giving you a speed boost. When you are using a Power Mushroom, it also seems that going off of the raceway and hitting (most) obstacles has little effect. The Star speeds you up to a constant speed regardless of the ground, makes you invincible, and will also knock other racers out of the way and spin them out.

I need to reiterate the absurdity of the AI at 150cc, (Yes, I eventually won all of the Cups after a few hundred tries) in one race, for example, I was leading and got hit by a Red, “Tracking,” Shell within sight of the finish line. It was the final race of the Cup and I essentially needed to finish seventh or better, the Red Shell was not enough to knock me out of first, but then I got hit by a Blue Shell after I started to re-accelerate. The Blue Shell knocked me down to fourth by the time I was able to accelerate again, and literally, not even further than five car lengths from the finish, a Cannon plowed into me and I ended up finishing in Ninth. I’m glad that I am an adult now, because had I been confronted with that as a ten-year-old on Mario Kart for Super Nintendo, something was going to get broken in the house that day…probably the controller. I’ve not yet had the opportunity to test the durability of the Wii controller and Steering Wheel yet, but if I get hit by a Cannon…in mid-air…on Rainbow Road…on an accelerator flip that you must take (if you want to finish the race)…and knocked into oblivion causing me to plummet into last place, the structural soundness of design might be tested.

I’ve only covered the least of this game’s features. The game also features two Battle Modes whereby you will go around attacking other cars to collect coins in a closed area, or you will, “Pop,” other cars’ balloons by attacking them (thereby scoring points) in Balloon Mode. I’ve played these modes with my son, but I’m not going to reflect on their pros and cons too much as they are geared mainly towards children. I will mention that there are four, “Classic,” Battle Arenas and four new ones. The Power-Ups are also basically the same, except there is no Cannon or Lightning Bolt, and the Blue Shell targets the member of the opposing team with the most coins and knocks out half in Coin Mode and I have never seen it in Balloon Mode.

The Time Trial version of the game is great fun as it focuses more on actual racing fundamentals,(except for Triple-Mushrooms that you start with and can be used anytime unless you lose them to an obstacle or, “Falling down the hole”) and is highly addictive as you will engage in the same race, often dozens of times, in order to find a way to shave an extra second off of your time. I will not go to any great specifics, but I will say that, “Staying inside,” on turns is paramount as well as choosing the appropriate vehicle for the track. In this mode, you will also Unlock, “Fast Staff,” ghosts which enables you to race against the Time Trial records of Nintendo employees, even including the President, whose ass I handed to him.

I could probably spend three hours talking about the on-line version and how fantastic it is, but I’m just going to highlight some key features:

1.) “Ghost Race”

-This mode enables you to have Time Trial races against Regional Ghosts, Friends, and Ghosts from all over the World in an effort to beat their times. This mode will also track your Win/Loss ranking against these Ghosts and your, “Best Time Ghost,” will be added to the system and will independently compete against others in Time Trial mode which certain features/Karts/Bikes being Unlocked after your Ghosts prevail in a given number of races. The coolest aspect of this is that your Ghosts are earning you Unlockables as you watch Netflix.(also available on the Wii, I cancelled by Cable $80-something/month, for Netflix which is only $7.99/month because of how much better Netflix content is)

You are also able to view the best times in the World that other Players have achieved as well as many other features that I have not even tried yet, though I have been playing the game Religiously (well, when I have time) for the last two months.

2.) “Battle Mode”

-It’s the same Battle Mode, but against people around the World. There is also a scoring system, with a starting score of 5000, which awards or subtracts points based upon how well you do.

3.) “Cup Races”

-See Battle Mode, except applied to Cup Races. Another feature of both modes, however, is that each participant gets to, “Vote,” on what track he/she wants which is then decided randomly, so it’s important to pick a balanced car in Cup Mode.

Conclusion:

I think the phrase, “Good, Clean fun,” is somewhat outdated, but it is the best possible way to describe Mario Kart for the Nintendo Wii. The, “Shout-Outs,” to older versions are there, the new tracks/features are there, the on-line content is incredible, and the replayability is outstanding. This game will entertain you for hours, unless you find it too cartoonish or just fundamentally dislike racing games.

Scores:

Re-Playability: 10

Graphics: 8.5 (Overly cartoonish, possibly, even understanding it is supposed to be a cartoon)

GamePlay: 9 (Sometimes the Karts/Bikes stats don’t seem to matter in the way they should, the actual driving, itself, is often too easy regardless of what you use)

Sound/Music: 7 (Each course has its own Music, but it still doesn’t take long to become redundant)

Intangibles (Such as On-Line features): 10

Difficulty: 8 (It’s meant to be relatively easy, in terms of driving, but 150cc is just stupid with what the AI gets away with, especially in the closing seconds of a race. I want to be put at a disadvantage in the hardest mode of the game, but Nintendo needs to respect the difference between a difficult race, as the race is often easy to that point, and just flat out screwing someone right in the end.)

Overall: 9

***The Math results in 8.75 on the overall, but if there were a score higher than, “10,” for re-playability, that’s what this game would get, so I’m rounding up a little bit.

I just wanna say that I have never met my match in Mario Kart 64. I don’t use cheat short-cuts or glitches, but I have perfected the power slide skill to the point that using it at all the right places is intuitive. Anybody else for Mario Kart 64? There’s gotta be a way to emulate it on the PC so that multiplayer works across the internet. That would kick ass. We could start an intense ILP Mario Kart tournament.

I went the PlayStation route at that time, and wasn’t going to spend the money on both, so unfortunately, I’ve never played it.

Spoilers, tabbed.

One annoyance about the assassins crypt sections is that they have this habit of changing the camera angles which mean pressing up suddenly sends you in a different direction, when precise movement and timing are essential this can be frustrating as the timed sections can be hard enough as it is without a sudden bizarre camera change which means you have to go back to the start through no fault of your own. Leave the cameras alone, I know morons like to be shown where to go next but I’d rather just move the camera myself. Also another gripe is that in these internal scenes my graphics card seems to have problems, which even lowering the graphics to minimum doesn’t help, which can only mean it’s a flaw with either my card or the game. Why it’s only in these scenes I don’t know but since they are internal its not as if there’s a great deal of processing power going into the graphics at any time. Weird.

I finally got the pistol attachment from my hidden blade, shooty shooty bang bang. Sgreat. :slight_smile:

Yet to use it except on a murderer but meh.

Anyhoo let me tell you how money works, Etzio is in control of his uncles finances and estate (the man runs Monteriggio), so Etzio can purchase upgrades to the town, out of his own pocket of course and hence bring in extra revenue, these are fairly simple like renovating the shops and church to opening a brothel or the mines or a well or a new lick of paint for the barracks or a new thieves guild. The returns though are substantial once you improve everything, and money should never really be a problem, provided you invest a lot and early and don’t worry too much about buying expensive weapons and armour. Plow all your money into renovating the bank and stuff and your laughing, the returns are significant. I’m on nigh on 13k florins per 20 mins of game time atm. Which is more than I need at any one time. If you do run short of money for whatever reason then just take some side quest jobs, which will pay fairly well, according to how difficult they are.

The armour and weapons are nicely introduced, you do improve considerably with each weapon, being faster, doing more damage and being able to block more damage, which helps for those two handed weapons that tear you a new a hole when they hit. [tab]Here’s a tip don’t get cocky and try a block and kill move with anyone using two handed weapons, you’ll just fail to block effectively. Use attack and counter attack, the Brutes are slow and you can keep heavy armoured opponents on the back foot practically indefinitely with the right weapon.[/tab]

[tab]Venice is a brilliant area, some of the graphic areas are gob smacking especially the first assassins crypt in the Dojes palace. I also love punting about in the boats and Da Vincis hang glider section, plus the wagon ride there was pretty exciting[/tab]

Anyway back to failing the second tomb area because of mysterious and sudden camera changes. Facker!

Fuse, I’ll be checking some of these options, you should to. After a bit of refreshing my memory, you will have no hope against me.

I wonder if you can do battle mode on those…

Cool I love people smack talking. I bet I can beat anyone on Earth on Goldeneye, all my adept friends I did, and they were no slackers. Let’s make it global. :slight_smile:

Ok seriously though, there should be a way you can play your games on online if you think you are the bz nz. There is but some games you can’t do it and prove your majesty; let me tell you though all the games I have played on line, that I thought I was great at I was humbled by. Play the AI, meh play the world, you aint nothing until you play real people. :slight_smile:

For me I’ve only done MMORPG and Civ. I made a name from myself in Civ I worked my way up the ladders there. But in in MMORPG I am never that great, it takes a long time to be great in games that are solely about multi player. If you’re a name in a multiplayer game, not just one of many you’ve actually succeeded, beating your friends, beating your enemies, beat the best. It’s the only way to fly. :slight_smile:

Incidentally now done part 9 on Assasins creed loving, it, it’s a great game. However I do wish it was more free form than it is, I doubt you can really decline missions and progress, I doubt there is a way to play multiple stories. Now I know it’s about genetic memory so you have to synchronise with that, but I love games where you can go your own way more.

I will take you down in golden eye.

I doubt it. Actually you probably would I’ve not played it in years. :slight_smile:

Oh and Ezio finally gets some action at the end of scene 9, about time! I would spoiler it but meh 4 whores, and you don’t see anything, in case your eyeing the 15 rating and wondering. I have actually been waiting to see who he’s going to drill during the game, as relationships with females seem to be a significant part of the plot. Don’t get excited though ladies, in Renaissance Italy there are only two jobs for women, whore, nun or both as in the case of the Holy House of Courtesans, where all the whores are ex or practising nuns. Ah Viva Italia. Prostitution was made illegal in the early 17th century in Italy, so much for the faith. :wink::slight_smile:

Incidentally it goes to show that Italy was really going through a renaissance as in 12th century Syria, women have many career paths, although amazingly carrying empty pots on your head seems to be the choice of the time. What was that all about, ever thought of carrying something in those pots ladies? No, oookay then…

If I was a sprite I’d drill Lucy I think, which is a bit sad and probably means I should get out more. :smiley:

Incidentally I am on the brotherhood tip soon and then I will run out of games, at which point I will kill again.

Why do you have to collect feathers?

Why is Altaïrs armour worth it when 1/3 of the armour you actually can get will see you through if you’re not shit at the game?

Why collect codex pages> yeah I know they lead to extra memories but generally the extra memories are not worth the effort?

I think I know the answer to keep you playing long beyond the expiration date of the game. I don’t like that, why not just write more game and cease making whomever jump through hoops for things they don’t really care about or need like altaïrs armour or the magic compass and the original copy of the Bible.

Dude just write more game, I’ve played every game there is, I aint going to be suckered in by useless add ons; do the game then buy a new one, unless the extras come with free blow jobs quit bugging me. :slight_smile:

I have no idea, I never did it, I guess to get your mother out of her traumatised semi-comotose state?

You need it to progress throught the story, other than that it’s just better armor, so yeah if you don’t suck you don’t technically need it. The thing is it doesn’t look like Altairs armor in the first game, he must of mad it after words… and pioneered renaissance tailoring.

Yep

Ah yeah, will look into it when I have the time. I’d like to set it up on my comp and then write up directions for anyone else who wants to get in on some MK multiplayer challenges. Hopefully there’s a way to set up private races/battles.

We’ll see about your skillz.

Oh one massive gripe is that the weapon wheel is so mind numbingly hard to use with the mouse that it takes 4 hours to draw a pistol, or choose the poison needle, in fact anything at 3,6,9,12 are ok to select, well after a while, but anything else is horrifyingly hard to pick, to the point where you never use those weapons unless you have 4 hours to prepare. Also the wheel seems to give you .0236712 seconds to make your mind up so that even if you do by some miracle select the right weapon there is no guarantee you will have time to actually draw it.

Really lazy programming that, all they had to do was either assign all the weapons a number, or use two buttons to cycle through the weapons. There is just no need to punish mouse users who can’t be assed to buy an analogue style controller.

I thought the game was over today but it seems it’s larger than I imagined which is nice. The PC version is not better than the whatever version though despite what it says on the box, because of the problems I have highlighted, none of which would be ones with an analogue stick. I don’t see why you can’t disable the camera change effect for moments when you don’t need it, which is basically all the time and making it hard to change weapons for mouse users is just lazy play testing. Surely this should of been picked up?

Ultimately though this is a great game, and I wont go into why atm. I’ll just ask that the next game have difficulty levels, because this one is too easy. In fact way too easy, I’ve died once in the whole game through accidentally misjudging a leap of faith. I think you could quite easily play this game without ever dying if you tried. Now that’s too easy, you might fail occasionally to make a mark or do a mission, but as any good RPGer knows dying is essential. AC3 needs difficulty levels, so that the guards are so twitchy they will attack fast, they have decent stamina so you wont take them down quick, and you are easier to kill. I want it to be very hard by choice. And not hard because of not being able to see new camera angles because it’s so damned hard that you wish you never upped the anti. :slight_smile:

Roll on AC3 I guess, and ffs stop making the damn game hard with a PC mouse, it’s not big or clever. :slight_smile:

I’m looking forward to Shogun 2: Fall of the Samurai.

Oh incidentally in Skyrim dragon scale armour is the best light armour by a mile, and dragon plate is lighter but marginally worse than Daedric for armour rating, so its a slight trade off. The skills worth acquiring if you use both light and heavy armour like me. I got killed by a dragons tail earlier in one swipe and I have 511 health. The nerve of it. That’s one serious critical attack though. :open_mouth:

an uber criticalled scale suit will be almost as good as full plate armour, to put it in perspective.

Right I’ve done Assassin’s Creed II now, needless to say there will be spoilers ahead:

After the first gripping instalment though I still have two questions that are bugging me:

  1. When does Desmond get to bone Lucy?
  2. When does Desmond get a threes up with Rebecca?

Apart from these two obviously glaring inconsistencies, the game wraps up neatly with the reason for all this madness being made clear, at least to Desmond if not Ezio.

Good things about the game, the story line is gripping and well written and the voice acting is excellent. Although the fact that all the Dr’s sound like Dr Nick must be some private joke, of course not I recommend a course of leeches. Is a line from the Simpsons as well. :smiley:

It’s twice the size of ACI which was too short, but its still a little easy, hopefully they will beef up the difficulty or let you chose to in ACIII.

Graphics are gobsmacking, sound is good bordering on excellent.

Money is a nice touch although you do tend to make far more than you could conceivably ever need, I ended the game with 1/4 of a million florins, enough to buy a small town.

The action scenes on wagons, horseback etc are fun and well done, I especially liked the flying bit.

The controls system is on the whole very easy to use same as the first.

There’s lots of artery fountains of blood, which is nice if you like that sort of thing, and it reminds you that yes people bleed when cut.

And many many more things I could add that make this a worthy sequel I am now playing Brotherhood, we shall see if the extra content is worth the time…

Well I will say that from what i’ve seen (I haven’t been able to play revelations yet) Ezio gets a lot more action than Desmond.

There are a lot of awesome things about Assassins Creed Brotherhood, and you said you like the gliding sections? You’ll be pleasently suprised.(hint hint)

Have you seen some of the Screenshots from Assassins Creed 3? Your English right?http://gamerant.com/assassins-creed-3-new-screenshots-details-dyce-139647/

Ooh I gets to kill me some Red Coats. :smiley:

That does look good, it wont look like that on mine unless I get a new computer but the graphics have always really shown the PCs capability.

I can’t believe he hasn’t boned Lucy by revelations, it’s so obvious they prettied her up for some reason. The icing on the cake would be if Rebecca is bisexual of course, for threesome purposes. I probably need to get out more/ get laid. :smiley:

I imagine coming to PC next year some time…

Is it odd that I thought of something like that as well?

Maybe, nothin wrong with having these types of thoughts in this Game.

I suppose so but its kinda like having a conversation about which wife in the Flinstone was the hottest, it was Betty of course.

Maybe Desmond is gay, like Leonardo Da Vinci! I always imagined Etzio saying something like, hey dude your hands on my ass, whenever they hug. :smiley:

Actually my dialogue in cut scenes is often quite funny if a little x-rated. Well they are often boring because for some reason my graphics card runs them half as fast as it should, and the lip synching is always way out.