I love my fiance to death, I really do. But there are times when it frustrates me that he is so non-confrontational that he just…well, he bends over and takes it sometimes. I’m quite the opposite. I don’t let people screw with me.
“The Nice Guy Syndrome”. I know a couple “pick up artists” as they refer to themselves, and I have seen these guys go into clubs, or even better on the street or the tube, and literally get half a dozen numbers plus a chick to make out with or have some kinda sex with by the end of the night/week. As one of them put it, all girls want to be pornstars. They all do like to do all the things that they wouldn’t do on their own, things they might initially push the man away for, but secretly want the man to do. Women have a passive role in the mating ritual. You won’t get a girl to come up and try to pick you up so she can have sex with you by the end of the night. She might start talking to you and lead you onto making moves on her but in the end, you’re the one that has to put it in. A lot of women have rape fantasies, not actual rape, but a fantasy of the total loss of control. Be the alpha male, start conversations with guys you don’t know, talk to a lot of girls just for the sake of killing that anxiety, be in control. It’s easier to say than do but… It’s a mind set, you have to believe it. Wether it’s true or not is irrelevant to the objective.
Basically, let the cave man out. Logic, reasoning and philosophy won’t get you sex.
Tace, is he completely comfortable with you yet? The first thing my husband’s sibs asked me was" Why are you marrying such a cold blooded SOB? They did not know their brother. I have problems with his Cold bloodedness in public. It has caused me to do some explaining or I have walked away from him in frustration or embarrassment. My normal line now is" Hey I am only married to him, I don’t own him".
Your guy may just need to reach a comfort zone with you and you may see the other side. I only saw his two sides because, we were best of friends first and utterly comfortable with each other before any mating thoughts occured.
I’ve seen all his sides…he CAN stand up for himself, it’s just the times when he doesn’t that frustrate me.
We had a conversation a few nights ago. I explained to him that it bothered me that he never told ME when I had done something wrong, and instead just appologized for whatever problem there was. He’s comfortable with me I think, but worried about angering me by standing up to me when I screw up. I imagine it will just take time for him to realize that I’m not going to drop his ass for telling me the truth.
I am not suggesting it mind you, just thinking about our experiences dealing with each other to gain trust, but, have you thought to push his button hard enough to prove to him you won’t drop his ass? It is a risky thing to do but, it could make both of you more comfortable and knowledgable of each other. It could break down that wall if you do it with the intention to help. Sometimes we all need a push.
that’s true, except i need alcohol not to be inhibited by embarassing( myself to myself not to some random girl i’ve just seen) 
others probably need it too!
Yeah me too dude. A pint or two should get me into the mood for social fluidity. The guys I’m referring to discourage alcohol in general, but I like drinking anyways, and it’s the usual way of pushing thoughts away and immersing myself in unfamiliar atmospheres so it’s a good start at least, until more experience is had.
isn’t it simple?
girls don’t need a nice guy, they need a badass who can look after them.
they might have intelligent conversations with you and say you are sweet ou cute, but that dont make you bonin material.
girls in fact widley enjoy it when you are an ass to them. i suspect this is due to a natural selection mechanism that rewards conformity or opression which increases survival rate.
if there is a girl you like but she is not giving you the kind of attention you are after, get a tatoo and a body piercing (thats enough for alot of girls)
I think what’s often missing in these discussions is what kind of women many men want. We fuss and moan about what they want, but we don’t really mean “all of them” - we mean the kind we want. If you want a woman who seeks power only through you, then you will find women who seek power only through you, if you find one at all.
Strong, independent women might seek a nice guy - they don’t need the vicarious power. But is that the kind you are looking for? If your primary goal is to get your dick sucked (and i am not denegrating that goal) then you might want a more malleable type of woman. But then you have to be the pillar of strength (no pun intended - I think). Well, we may not be talking about “nice” at all here, but “passive”. I think Maytacera is providing some intelligence in this regard.
Sometimes you get what you ask for.
The battles here on this site between men and women are a bit skewed. We men are often talking about the majority of women, but the sample of women here is not representative - no wonder they object! Practically by definition, the women who come here are willing to think for themselves, and maybe act for themselves. They are not typical.
What is typical is the males’ prediliction, in most cases, to think a lot about their dicks, and not so much about other body parts (like the brain) that might seek satisfaction in a realtionship, however ephemeral. Testosterone poisoning. It doesn’t always go away with age.
Trust me.
I think that sex can only get better within a relationship - I’ve never done otherwise, but from what friends tell me: gratuitous sex is pretty empty and sad!
I hope you find what you are looking for, RU. 
The kind of girl that likes a jerk either wants to change him or likes the friction and will argue a lot. They also are the type to divorce and take your money. So happy dick sucking, you’re now broke.
Everything costs money, nano. It pays to be a smart shopper.
Hahaha,
Very insightful replies–I have some things to ponder.
The bad guy’s wife also finds out he’s been cheating and divorces him, gets him to pay alimony, and doesn’t attend his funeral. Call that happy and fulfilling, if you wish. Either that or the guy has a totally oblivious push-over who likes being abused, and that makes her no prize for him and supports in carrying on as he is.
As I just noted, this isn’t always the case. The woman who is more attracted to the nice guy is more experienced and knows that it is all in her gain that she not go for an asshole who doesn’t care about her. She’s not more willing to cheat, but feel even more eager to stay with him because he respects her and she will respect him for it. The only woman who would go after a loyal man to cheat is a bitch and probably deserves the men who use her that she wants.
Not the peace that comes with whistling, sitting on the dock of the bay. Thats free, haha.
There are, sadly, a number of girls and young women out there who have poor self image and will do sexual favors just to get noticed. You don’t need to be nice to them, you only need to have the ability not to view them as human beings. Also, try prowling around the ‘iffy’ neighborhoods, because there are probably more girls there with fewer options in life and who got crappy parenting. Those girls will be easier for you to prey upon.
If you’re that type, and you’re younger (or older and able to give them something shiny) then I imagine you’ll succeed without pretending that you have any character worth mentioning. Just don’t seek the girls that do think they’re worth more than that (and worth more than you, if your tactic is that you pretend until you ejaculate).
And I have to add that I’m sure glad I was born both female and into a home environment that gave me a head start in life. It’s like a roll of the dice, though.
yes, you can say “please” and “thank you” to a hooker.
But then you’ve been reduced to paying for it… 
A ‘bad’ guy never needs to pay for it, because he takes rather than waiting patiently to receive a hand-out.
Every conversation with an unknown female should start like this:
“Why the fuck are you staring at it? It won’t suck itself.”
Discussion over; step 2: Return the favor, hand the squaw a ham sandwich and a bus token. All squaws look far better departing than arriving.
Resolution achieved.
Oh gosh, that’s funny. But if you really took your motto seriously, you wouldn’t be alive today.