Well can it? Does inappropriate talk outside of one’s relationship constitute a cheat? Do you need naked bodies to be cheating or can you do it with your words alone? Where is the fine line drawn in the sand? If we step one toe onto the other side of the sand at the water cooler, have we cheated or is it innocent play with nothing more than a forgettable indiscretion.
Your thoughts?
I’m pretty sure that Jesus mentioned that thinking about sin is a sin. However, in my world it is not, but it does not seem like the kindest thing though. Again, I think that it would rest on the duration of the fantasy. Passing thoughts are difficult to control, but more involved ones may not be.
Personally, I think that it is rude to be with someone and thinking about another. This is especially true if the person is interested in being with you and you are out to lunch.
I have the same thoughts about drugs and family interaction.
I was not referring to religious values or even one’s thoughts of another person, but when exactly is the line crossed? It is impossible to know what is in your partner’s brain during the day or during sex for that matter, so I am not talking at all about fantasy. I am referring to a relationship of words and inuendo. Is it cheating or just commonplace friendly? Also, do you think more men do it than women? They say that now in the workplace more women are having affairs anyway, but where and when does the cheating actually occur? In the wordplay or on the bed?
Cheating is anything you do with a member of the appropriate sex that you know your partner would be pissed about, and you feel the need to hide from them. In other words, the other person in your relationship totally gets to define what cheating is, and if you can’t come to an agreemet, you leave them or accept that you’re being unfaithful.
Excellent answer. Good effect too with the screaming monster saying it, U.
Thank you for saying so, Bessy. It was one of those answers that I was sure was going to draw fire and controversy but no matter how many times I read it, I couldn’t see how exactly. : )
Yeah this is a good answer. I was searching for the words and then I scrolled down and read them.
However, sometimes it’s hard to know (especially for us guys) just what would piss off your girlfriend/partner… even after the said ‘agreement’
Such is life i guess… I mean imagine a ‘perfect’ relationship. LoL… I certainly can’t.
I more or less agree with Uccisore here. What it means to ‘cheat’ is inseperable from the relationship in question. Most relationships though are defined by certain, bottom-line commitments, which go into the meaning of ‘relationship’ as it is commonly understood. I think the example given in this thread is in a grey area - in the sense that some wouldn’t mind, and some would.
[Insert Dr. Phil-esque words of wisdom here…]
James
I find it correct… partly.
I know jealous girls who reject even the conversation of their partner with a human from the oposite sex. This is kind of mania, but don’t you find it strange that even simple conversation, even discussion in the shop could lead to mighty scandal in the evening? I mean it depends on the truth in your partner there are things in the moral worth system that describes what we can do and what we can’t. But when we have relationship with paranoid personality we are weak to construct our imagination of what is right and what is wrong. I mean, for example the conversation in the shop - 3 words from the seller, 3 words from the client and the last character is already embarassed about his girlfriend’s opinion is it right or is a sin?
I couldn’t explain it well, but I hope you could understand the main idea.
The true man wants two things: danger and play. For that reason he wants woman, as the most dangerous plaything.
Friedrich Nietzsche
There are no facts, only interpretations.
F. Nietzsche
How interesting that this is your sig!
Yes, a relationship is built on trust, if you have a jealous mate, the odds are that he or she may actually be the cheat. Jealousy is often the death of a relationship.
Thanks, there are many quotations, that I want to post (f.e. 'Dum Spiro, Spero (I hope, as long as I breathe)), but I find these too most interesting. Does it have an opinion on that thread?
aspacia, I agree, that jealous is the main reason, but unfortunately it’s kind of disease, not caprice. That’s why cheating always seems like option in jealous’ head.
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A disease probably caused by insecurity, thankfully I do not suffer from it. Hum, actually, I have several younger, female friends from university, that come and spend the weekend with us (was 33 when I returned to university). I mentioned that once at work, and a secretary said “Aren’t you jealous?” I had to teach on a Friday, and my friend was down for four days. Chuckle, how silly. I trust my other half, deeply value my friends, and vice-versa. I am very selective regarding who I associate with.
Also, I do not view Nietzche in a favorable light. Do you also believe women are dangerous playthings??
Unfortunately I’m jealous to some extent (it’s based on my DNA, my grandfather goes mad when hears about another man from my grandmother. Actually I’ve noticed, that it depends on the liaison. I mean, different girlfriends make me jealous in different way. First I thought it’s based on my feelings - probably I fell in love in different stage every time, but finally I’ve decided that it’s kind of chemical reaction.
Well, ‘dangerous playthings’ is a metaphor, but yes, I also believe it. Woman is greater secret for the man than man for woman, so everything unknown is dangerous, and everything that you need too much and you can’t live without is plaything… something like that 
My wife has never read even one of my posts. Except one, by chance, the only one intended to be private, an IM I sent to vortical about being down once, which I blamed on a domestic turn, which was, in fact, merely a marital spat that resolved quickly. But if she read my posts, she’d be mad, even though I never flirt, per se. She’d be mad because she’d say “oh, online you’re so this or that but with me you’re just untalkative and tired.” She’d wonder why I’m so full of pluck, humor and life online, and so downtrodden, bored and monosyllabic with her. But this would be an illusion. In reality, I’m very ascerbic, talkative and deep around her, so much so that it’s overwhelming and annoying and she tunes me out routinely, or we fight. This is probably why I vent online so much. Nonetheless, as soon as I deviate from philosophy proper, she’d consider it cheating, which is of course a relative term. Especially if women are involved. Would it be considered legal infidelity? Unless her lawyer is Ally McBeal, I’d say no. Anyway, the more I deviate from philosophy, the more I’m cheating myself.
Ppl are here for different reasons.
Bummer 
Why not purchase another computer, hook-her in on your e-mail and will not cost more, and ask her to join in? I have asked my other half, but he simply is not interested in this board, he hooks in to gun, and car blogs, when he feels like it. Also, he does not type fast and often cannot keep up. Try asking her to join if you choose. And you are not cheating by enjoying dialogue with others.
It appears she has access, and may be a bit jealous of the time spent. Hum, would you be jealous if she worked, went to university, and often did not come home until 10:30 p.m. or so? It is a question of security and trust IMO. But, we all know how everyone has an opinion.
That Gamer, is why your one of my favs here.
Depends on what you are saying . If you are delibirately saying things to one man outside a relationship you have with another , that gives him an indication that he could get somwhere with you then i,d say it was cheating.