I’m not sure I would ever forgive anyone in that case.
Either way, forgiveness is not divine and shouldn’t be an easy option. If forgiveness comes easily, one might question whether the offense was all that serious to begin with.
If people in here has never heard about a “wife beater”, then I’ll be very suprized and the mechanics involved in that act.
The same goes for compulsive gamblers, compulsive childmolestors, compulsive rapists, compulsive serial killers …etc, many of these has such strong compulsion that they can’t help and stop themselves, even thought they really want to, why it would be foolish to forgive them all the time.
What about sex trafficing? Should the sex slaves forgive their sex slavers all their life?
Um no, you didn’t. I’m speaking about forgiveness for personal peace. You spoke about a wife-beater being forgiven and then continuing to beat his wife. In that case, you’re speaking of absolving a person of their wrongdoing. I’m talking about letting go of a grudge.
This concept of forgiveness is unrealistic. We are humans. People say “Forgive and forget” as if the two are one and the same, but that is just not possible. I can never forget the man who beat me every opportunity he got for three years. That’s branded into my very soul for the rest of my life. I don’t have to go on being angry about it, though. I can accept, accept that there is something very wrong with a person who would beat a small child, and accept that there is nothing I can do to change it. At that point, I forgive him. My forgiveness doesn’t justify his actions, but it allows me to move beyond my pain, to no longer be his victim.
Aha? Yes and no!
In the wifebeater situation, the wife will often argument that the punishment is righteous because she provoked the husband, which is selfinduced nonsens.
Weather it’s about letting go of a grudge for the sake of inner peace or practical diplomacy, there are still psycology involved, and as I see it, it depends on the situation which many can’t see, as they only react on compusive instinct to forgive, which imo is a wrong thing. Those who does not repent or change their wrong ways, shouldn’t be forgiven as such sociopaths will abuse forgiveness.
You are still missing the point, and yet you say that MY argument is emotion-based?
You don’t forgive a wife-beater to make them feel better. Regardless of whether they have changed or not, your forgiveness probably means next to nothing to that person. It’s not about whether the person “deserves” forgiveness or not. You’re doing said wife-beater no favors by forgiving him for the horrible things he’s done, you’re doing YOURSELF a favor. Again, forgiveness is a letting go of wrongs done so that one may move on with their own life.
I’d also like to point out, HexHammer, what I said above – forgiving is NOT the same as forgetting. You may forgive a person for doing something horrible, in order to move beyond it in your own life, but there is no way to forget it. If you haven’t forgotten it, are you going to willingly allow that person to hurt you again? No, probably not. Again, forgiving someone doesn’t absolve them of all wrong-doing.
…what? Are you trying to be amuseing here? Forgive a wife beater to make “them” feel better?
…who is “them” in this situation?
I know perfectly that in some situations, it would be a psycological benefit to forgive some/someone in order for a self benefit, for a better inner wellbeing, that it can cause bitterness …etc.
What you can’t realize is that in some situations, the victim forgiving is running a fool’s erran by doing so.
External behaviour is not a direct indication of feelings - forgiveness is a feeling not a behaviour.
I can forgive a person and yet call the police and have them sent to prison for life.
There is no contradiction between the forgiveness of an action and the action of sending a person to prison for life.
You’re going to have to do more, HexHammer, than just say that a person is running a “fool’s errand” by forgiving someone who has wronged them. In what way? I don’t think you quite grasp what I am saying to you. Forgiveness not being the same as forgetfulness is key here. I realize that you didn’t say anything about forgiving/forgetting. I did, because it is central to the idea that I am trying to get across to you right now. Forgiving someone is not giving them the opportunity to hurt you again. It is not forgetting the wrong done. As I said, that would be impossible. A person who takes “forgiveness” to mean that they must open themselves up to harm again is a fool. However, I do not think that is what forgiveness means.
Perhaps, if you attempted to answer the question I asked you rather than insinuate that I am unable to grasp simple concepts, we might find understanding. If you have nothing more to add, why are you here?
Probaly the same reason why you are here. I have already answerd you question like 2 times before, which you didn’t grasp, I’m tired talking to someone that doesn’t comprehend what I’m saying.