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Yes.
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your reaction is REASONABLE according to your own personal feelings but not to practical 
One thing is depending on a crush (this has two different sides to it, one being yours and the other being hers) and another thing is depending on another person.
try dissapearing for a week and come back with a scar.
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where they feel comfortable doing so. might explain why the two guys cheated on her; Her presence is easily acceptable, gives them the comfort to go banging other ladies. you are (so to say) trying to look to hard, when really, that’s all she is.
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Reasonable? Mabey its hard to tell, we only have your side of the story. Understandable? Most definately, she hurt you and its bound to make you angery I have all the sympathy in the world for you friend, break ups from relationships that have gone on that long are always hard. Alot of what you said reminded me of my first loving relationship. I think that you are over analysing it, im not doubting that those things happened but your looking for specific moments that lead to the break up when its most likely that you just wernt right for each other at this time in your life. The anger will pass and turn to sorrow and then that will pass and you will be ok. It sucks right now but when you are next in a relationship you will have learnt some valuable lessons from this first one.
Very few people stay with their first love.
My advice right now is to ignore relationships as much as you can, concentrate on going out with your friends and having fun, the good thing about being single is that you can do what you want, a small conselation mabey but you have to try and make the most of it.
you are trying too hard…
breathe.
-Imp
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Dear God! You sound like a spoiled little boy. Why is she playing Games? She is not. She tried to get to know you it probably did not work out for her. She is from a different culture. Her culture is modest and not vain. You sound immodest and vain. Leave her alone and let her find a guy that understands where she is coming from. You ask too much from a first date.
Yeeeah, you spent too much. I bet she didn’t like it, I know I wouldn’t. I hate guys who try to flaunt their money and impress too much. She probably figured you were the type of asshole who was buying his way to her undergarments. She probably doesn’t like gifts. She probably isn’t as flashy as you thought she was. She probably preferred a stroll in the park or a pull up movie (old fashioned but very cheap and sentimental) or maybe she just wanted to hang somewhere and get to know you. She probably didn’t want to get physical because she avoids being easy-to-get, especially to men who think they can buy her.
It’s not that you did bad, you’re just looking for someone different. Maybe a girl who pulls down her pants when she sees your paycheck.
Those are all cultural I think.
You expect a kiss from a vietnam woman on the first date? Nah man.
Tip of advise, unless you’re bombed and can’t think about it anyways, never spend 100 on a first date. In fact, never spend 100 on a date unless you know for sure you’re gonna get laid or it’s true love – which I think you knew this wasn’t.
Maybe next time get a vietnam prostitute? 100 bucks…
First off, I’ll say you tried waaay too hard and came off really strong. Most women are intimidated by the sort of thing, and with good reason.
- She wore jeans. She was dressed nice, but still…?
Most first dates are very casual. The idea is to get to know the person, wooing comes later.
- She did not like my flowers. I gave her chocolate and flowers, but she made a point saying that she did not like them.
Flowers and chocolate. Wow, that is very strong. I’d tone it down – on the first date if you have a very “romantic” character a flower is acceptable. Flowers and chocolate is pretty heavy handed. Also, remember that the American culture is incredibly superficial. I’m not saying this as a bad thing, but it is simply the way it is – if an American gave another American a gift, the receiver would be obliged to thank the giver and say they loved them. Not so in other cultures. Most Vietnamese I’ve known are very direct in this regard, so I think it is fair to say it is a cultural value. But it is worth noting that she asked you out, which is very un-Vietnamese, or at least not within the normal confines of a “Confucian” culture. Since I know relatively little about Vietnam, I could be wrong on that one but I’d bet a sizable sum that I’m not. So, she may have integrated in one respect and not another? What are the chances of that?
- No affection. Many times I put my arm over her shoulder as we walked next to each other downtown and in the park. She walked close to me, but she showed no attempts to hold hands, stay together except briefly, hugs or kisses–nothing really.
Which for a first date is fine. Different people move at different paces.
- No compliments. I complimented her a few times in different ways telling her she was very beautiful. I received none.
You were coming off real strong, I’m sure she was intimidated.
- While we were having dinner, I couldn’t look at her for more than 4 odr 5 seconds and hold a gaze. She shied away and joked that she wanted to go home… (what am I ugly or something? I only tried a few times to see if she would return a gazing look)
I do know in Vietnamese culture it is rude to maintain eye contact. Again, she seems pretty integrated so I don’t think you can put too much weight on that. I’d be more inclined to say she was creeped out.
- She doesn’t drink alchohal. That’s fine, except it is important to me considering my dad makes wine from his own vineyard. She took a few sips and maybe that’s big for the cultural difference. Though, she mentioned that I need to eat some kind of stinking Vietnamese sausage if I go to her family. I invited to her that I would definitely try. I think she did not try on her end.
Did you ask her if she was allergic? That would explain that, and there is a very good chance that she is. Also, drinking is often seen as unladylike. Since she did talk about her family, I would take that as a very good sign. When in the date did she talk about meeting her family? Near the beginning or near the end?
- She did not want to stay out after our dinner. It was about 7:30 by the time dinner ended. I suggested that we go to a cafe or something. I guess she wanted to go home to her family, but I just put down 100 bucks for a very nice dinner…
First dates tend to be on the shorter side, since they can be stressful. They are more about sizing the other person up. Also, I hate to say this, but given the amount of money you dropped it could have come off as a “let’s go fuck” type thing.
8 ) NO KISS! This was the most disappointing part of the date. I looked for a good opportunity or a good sign the whole way. There was nothing. I could have stolen a kiss from her if I wanted to, but I figured I’d let her show something first.
A kiss doesn’t always happpen on a first date. It really depends on where the two people are at. Also, it is generally the guy’s job to initiate that, in pretty much any culture, including your own. Food for thought.
Live and learn, nothing lost nothing gained.
What strikes me about this whole scenario is that, if people’s hunches about the girl are correct, both parties had some kind parameters in mind, here. In other words, it appears that both parties had a list of do’s and don’ts, had a means by which to judge the correctness of the other’s actions, and the success of the date.
This is why I don’t date. It’s just such a BFD that it’s difficult to have any fun.
So realun screwed up here. Heaven forbid the girl cut him some slack and just tell him. And, I suppose, heaven forbid that realun do the same for her.
It’s all about rules, and right and wrong, and keeping score.
What a blast!
I heard that in Thailand it´s actually rude to make eye contact! Perhaps Vietnam is the same…
Along with most others, I think you´re trying too hard and over-analysing things too much (perhaps overly comparing her to your ex´s ways?). Allow your emotions to cautiously simmer and not boil at such an early phase.
And why is being with someone so damn important? There are loads of people out there (whom I call anti-singletons) who always need to be in a relationship of some sort, else they feel destitute, lost, worthless, inferior, etc. It does my head in! As soon as they split from someone, minutes later I hear of their new g/b-friend. What´s so bad about being single? Does it demonstrate a lack of character or individuality? Or do they have bigger hearts to share and fill? Am I just releasing bias scorn, being single myself, in which case I may be an anti-singleton in disguise?
Pfft - whatever. Whatever drives you in life, if it´s one thing alone, that´s gotta be bad news.
I’d say by not kissing her you might have saved yourself a bit. Now she just thinks you’re a really aggressive guy, but that you’re not going to force yourself onto her – that’s good.
Here is why.
Women like it when men know -for sure- that a guy likes them. That revelation, at first, throws them aback, especially on a nice date. But once they go home and think it over, then suddenly they’re like ‘well… I like sex! and that guy can give me sex, and attention…!’. So then they sit around for a while doing god-knows-what, and but eventually will show you some attention…
Women think that guys getting drunk and blurting out stuff is a mistake… and most of the time it is… still though.
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Sadly I’ve seen this type of thing in action. Like when girl expects you to reciprocate oral sex. It’s like they wanna keep score and make sure that they get as much as they’re giving. Why can’t a women just give head cause she likes the guy? I mean come on, I’m not against giving it or anything, but it’s like, how come everytime I want some head I have to make some excuse as to why I don’t want to give any. It’s just not pleasant to me. And I mean come on ladies, if you’re gonna expect that, you’ve gotta get that thing waxed!! None of this bristly shaved 3 days ago crap!! JEEZZ!!!
It seems to me you think compliments and embraces are like trades, I give then you give back. While this is true here in the United States of America, many people and cultures only give compliments when they actually like something about you, only kiss when they actually feel like kissing you, and only say thank you when they are actually grateful.
As for the alcohol thing, nice, she probably thought you were trying to get her drunk. And she probably went home with the impression that she severely misjudged your character.
Oh, and about the ex-girlfriend, if she’s going to break up with you, then she can’t expect you to remain chaste for her like some servant eunuch.