As a young man in the 1980s, I remember reading Erich Fromm’s theory of alienation, which resonates with the contemporary phenomenon of young people frequently asking, “What is love?” in pop culture.
At that time, people were experiencing a sense of alienation, feeling estranged from themselves and the world. They perceived their own actions as being controlled by external forces rather than as expressions of their authentic self. Fromm emphasised that, in modern society, this alienation is almost total, resulting in people experiencing themselves and others as objects rather than as individuals in meaningful relationships. This leads to a loss of true connection, including in the realm of love, where meaningful and productive relationships become difficult to achieve.
I adopted Fromm’s view of love as an active force capable of overcoming isolation and loneliness by fostering genuine connections between individuals. He argued that love involves growth, care, and unity — the kind of interpersonal fusion where two individuals genuinely invest in each other’s development. However, this kind of love is increasingly rare in an alienated world, where people often relate to each other superficially or instrumentally. My wife and I are told that we are lucky individuals, rather than being recognised for the investment we have made in our relationship.
I see the question ‘What is love?’ as raised by young people in popular culture as reflecting this alienation and loss of perspective on the true nature of love. They wrestle with its meaning because they are growing up in a society that often promotes non-productive, consumerist forms of relating rather than love as a creative, life-affirming force.
Having discovered how modernity’s alienation erodes the ability to form authentic, loving relationships, I feel I have been given a head start. Since then, I have come to view the frequent questioning of love among young people as a deep yearning to reconnect with a more truthful and productive understanding of human relationships, and to overcome the loneliness and isolation fostered by alienation.
This crisis of love in popular culture encourages reflection on what it truly means to love and be loved, moving beyond external images and the often-superficial portrayals marketed to young people. It exemplifies Erich Fromm’s insight that increasing alienation causes humanity to lose perspective on authentic, meaningful relationships, and on love as a vital, creative human power.
too.. brash.
