What are you even talking about now? The story is changing.
This entire scenario is made up. That’s why your room was a freaking mess. No dating person who is actually interested in a female has a room that messy.
I think your confusion, which I share, stems from the fact that she said yes to the date, but then the date never happened, she backed out.
This point is actually well taken. After the “yes,” I had slipped into anxious insomnia for a whole week over the derned bike, and I do think it might have reflected.
I can’t change the past. I can’t play a perfect game. If slack doesn’t exist, I will thank God for showing me that beauty in the wild, and go on my way.
Please don’t berate me. My feelings are already hurt. I’m not sure who I offended or how, I just asked a girl I had a great rapport with on a date and then felt like a sack of shit when she backed out, whatever her reasons were. For whatever reason, she struck a chord and struck it deep. She didn’t ask for that, I didn’t ask her permission for that, it just happened. Now I’m here.
I’m backing off, because I can’t think of anything else to do. My feelings hurt and it’s more weight than I can bear. If she feels the same, something will give. If not, the ignoring her has already done wonders for me, and I think I will eventually be cured that way.
I’m not asking God for a perfect game either. He plays one anyway, but I will never understand it. I will just say thank you.
It’s the story of my life. “Omg you’re so great you’re so creative you’re so handsome,” then some line that the whole planet can see but is invisible to me gets crossed, and it’s “you fucking asshole, who do you think you are,” etc.
Hey look. Whatever. I’m alive, I’m employed, I have prospects, and I think my mental is on the mend. What more can a motherfucker ask for. Nothing.
Did you or did you not take her back to your apartment? You can’t keep changing your story as often as your sock puppets. Because you don’t do your laundry… Captain Underpants. You should change your username to that.
This is how it is with every man who is not serious and just has shallow emotions that would just as soon die than actually have a reasonable thought in their head.
I hope your bike is fixed now.
Could you please just tell me what this serious man you speak of would look like? I’m not trying to be smart over here, I fucking have no actual idea.
“Sure, just let me know any time you need a ride, we’ll take your engine to the shop.”
“Sorry man, I’m tired and don’t feel like it.”
I’m just gonna move it with a taxi.
Maybe I’m used to putting up my blood as collateral for all my enthusiasms, I don’t realize how cheaply most people rate it.
Then they find some fucking shmuck who treats them like garbage and they divorce at 40 with a void in their hearts and what the fuck ever.
God motherfucking damnit.
…how old are you even?
I do spend time thinking about what these shmucks have to offer, who have never had a thought in their head, let alone a serious one. I think they just follow a predictable prgram and that just sort of automatically activates triggers and the thing just does itself. But I don’t even fucking know.
You have a fucking job … unless you made that up, too. Pay to move it. There are 500,000 different ways to do this.
WHAT IN THE LIVING MOTHRFUCKING SHIT DID I MOTHERFUCKING MAKE THE MOTHERFUCJ=DJKFJHSDKJF UP
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We are literally wind up toys. Resist it. That’s how you win the game. Don’t listen to me. …but seriously.
Anyway Ichthus, thanks for your time. Thank you for reading my notes and giving your thoughts. It means a lot to me. See you tomorrow.
And thank you for helping me through this. It may sound stupid to you, some girl, but it was a dangerous little passage and I wouldn’t have made it without you. So thank you.
No problemo, Captain Underpants.
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